At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
