Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bring me that man meat
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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