how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
