I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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