It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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