haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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