you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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