yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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