so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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