My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
