Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just found puke in my bra..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
