bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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