dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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