I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
