One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
