I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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