You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This baby is an asshole
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
