Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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