It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
