Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
