are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
