i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
