I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
