I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
