got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
