someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize