dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
