Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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