NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
