matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
