she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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