it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
that's an acceptable place to lick
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
