ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
