I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize