I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize