I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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