I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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