This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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