I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
