So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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