I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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