Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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