I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
