My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
