My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
