Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
