doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
