We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize