I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I see more hoeing in ur future
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