SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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