Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
