So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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