i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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