I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.