Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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  (608): I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over http://tfl.nu/rs0c
  Replies (32) Good night (1466) Bad night (5473)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.

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  (631): Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher. http://tfl.nu/6w08
  Replies (9) Good night (1062) Bad night (3766)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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  (+44): You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery. http://tfl.nu/036p
  Replies (7) Good night (1356) Bad night (2116)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar

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  (812): I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar http://tfl.nu/fo8u
  Replies (2) Good night (2020) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt

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  (413): i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt http://tfl.nu/1w7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1538) Bad night (643)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check

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  (770): Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check http://tfl.nu/nnqt
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.

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  (281): A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before. http://tfl.nu/gsfk
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass

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  (813): I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass http://tfl.nu/xapu
  Replies (7) Good night (945) Bad night (371)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.

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  (440): The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult. http://tfl.nu/70ah
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.

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  (+27): Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on. http://tfl.nu/4hb1
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.

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  (727): I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly. http://tfl.nu/hgem
  Replies (6) Good night (1446) Bad night (246)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.

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  (724): body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe. http://tfl.nu/fyq3
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (209)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.

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  (403): So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore. http://tfl.nu/754l
  Replies (7) Good night (343) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (839) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands

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  (330): You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands http://tfl.nu/9y5f
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (227)

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