I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.