apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.