My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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