I love black thongs
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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