Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just do him I won't tell jon

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore

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  (269): just do him I won't tell jon (1-269): um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore http://tfl.nu/l9xs
  Replies (7) Good night (879) Bad night (2534)
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  (212): View more from New York

  guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME

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  (212): guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME http://tfl.nu/dcck
  Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (661)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

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  (860): I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass http://tfl.nu/kwec
  Replies (24) Good night (1469) Bad night (5260)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.

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  (561): i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching. http://tfl.nu/cq5g
  Replies (43) Good night (1182) Bad night (5162)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?

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  (206): is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present? http://tfl.nu/b6gp
  Replies (27) Good night (4523) Bad night (2256)
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  (310): View more from California

  He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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  (310): He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical. http://tfl.nu/e9fk
  Replies (12) Good night (4442) Bad night (810)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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  (970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g
  Replies (20) Good night (3211) Bad night (1255)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math

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  (520): She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math http://tfl.nu/3rkm
  Replies (9) Good night (2419) Bad night (1125)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.

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  (716): Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them. http://tfl.nu/pe21
  Replies (9) Good night (2267) Bad night (915)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face

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  (320): I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face http://tfl.nu/yj9t
  Replies (7) Good night (2729) Bad night (743)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You dont lie about slip and slides

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  (502): You dont lie about slip and slides http://tfl.nu/1239
  Replies (9) Good night (1689) Bad night (496)
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  (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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  (909): i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on (901): continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way http://tfl.nu/cwtc
  Replies (1) Good night (1036) Bad night (361)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.

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  (706): Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time. http://tfl.nu/63oo
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (254)
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  (949): View more from California

  Amanda bynes is my spirit animal

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  (949): Amanda bynes is my spirit animal http://tfl.nu/eohy
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (437)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other

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  (803): I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other http://tfl.nu/gz8l
  Replies (5) Good night (638) Bad night (294)

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