did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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