How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
